I AM BACK!!

HI EVEYRONE! I officially ended my attachment in Thailand and so I am unofficially graduated from my 3 yrs diploma course now!!! Mixed feelings..

The past 3 months was an awesome, amazing and enriching one.. I was having a very heavy heart yesterday before leaving and cried so many times while saying goodbye to my lovely mentor, colleagues, dorm sister, chicken rice stall aunties, indonesian friends etc.. I always imagine myself leaving the place happily on the last day but it didn't turned out that way haha! 

In fact, the sad feelings started to kick in after I done with my presentation which was 2 days before I leave. All the memories we all shared kept replaying themselves in my mind. I couldn't help but burst into tears. There are too much I want to share here but seriously I don't know where to start!! I will post again about this trip soon or later after I've gotten all the photos from HT ok! :)

Right now I still couldn't believe I am in Spore alr. LOL. Need some time to adapt. My room is in a mess, my wardrobe is so small, my table seems shrink a lot too. OMG I AM MISSING THAILAND! I've never expect to receive so much love from them so it was a bit overwhelmed for me. :'))

THANK YOU SO MUCH! THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING THIS THE BEST TRIP IN MY LIFE!! I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET ANY ONE OF YOU. <3

JIA YOU!!!

Time checked: 2:50AM. Yes I am still awake while my 2 lovely roommates are having their sweet dreams now LOL.

More and more and more works started to pile up which include daily journal, the final report, final presentation, uni application stuffs and weekly journal. T.T 

During work hours I was soooooo busy and occupied that I don't even have time for water break so don't mention about writing my daily journal in the lab.. Everyday have to bring the lab notebook back home and work on it. Sometimes might even need to prepare for the next day tasks which include calculations and all. After I done with all these, I must start working on the FINAL LONG report because there is only 3 more weeks left before my attachment end. So yeaa.. Really tired to the max!!! 

On top of that, Spore local uni application is opened so I feel quite stress on the application stuffs because of all the documents submitting, financial assistance application, scholarships application datelines. I am still worrying on how could I pay for the super expensive fees. I told my parents I will get loan but in fact I can't get 100% loan from bank and I don't think I can get any scholarships due to the high competitiveness... Asking dad to pay would be my last choice or it will not even be in one of the choices! Because I REALLY can't do this. I can't spend his savings anymore! Thats my parents saving! How can I be so selfish and used up all their savings just for my education?!?! NO WAY! Work part-time? Of course I will but I don't think its enough thou. Worst come to worst, work first then study? By then I will not have the motivation anymore.. I know myself well. -____- Some says its just an excuse because if you really want to study timing is not a problem.. :/

Ok, anw I should just apply first. Yeap back to the point, like they say u need to submit this by when, need to apply this by when, must send all these docs in, must mail this mail that within how many days after applying BLA BLA BLA. The worse is I am now in Thai.. Have to really ask for help from close friends because it seems like nobody could help me with all these. Parents, siblings, aunties and uncles all aren't familiar with all these thingy. *SIGH*

梦想归梦想,现实归现实. 有时候美丽的梦想背后是一个残酷的现实. 我的梦想真的能够实现吗? 还是我的梦想其实是建筑在家人的肩膀上? 如果是的话, 那我宁愿放弃.可是..我好像做不到.. 我好自私啊. 没有了梦想, 那我是什么? 

我觉得好惭愧. 一直到这一刻, 我还是觉得自己很自私.. 一句要出国读书的话, 让爸爸受了不少苦.家人从来都不觉得这是一个负担, 这让我觉得更加惭愧了! 为什么我给他们的爱总比他们给我的少! 

好像有点写太多了! 哈哈. 晚安!