真的很希望，我所猜测的，都不是真的。。如果是真的，也太荒谬了吧！不是电视剧才有的剧情吗。。

Someone need to realise I am not fine. Someone need to realise I am not as independent as I seems to be too. 😢

Waiting

So I am waiting for Prof to get back to me on my thesis, which I hope she'll reply me tmr if not I scared I won't have enough time to edit! T.T Nonetheless, I am just so so so glad that it is ending!! IN LESS THAN 3 DAYS TIME!! Finally. After 11 months. *sigh of relieve* haha!

While waiting, I have nothing much to do (or I just want to nua haha), so I re-watched some episodes of dokkebi! haha! I realized I cry even more or cry easier when I watched it the second time lol. Why do I like to make myself cry, so stupid! 

Anw, this close friend once commented that why he thinks I like korean dramas alot or why do I always feel so emotionally attached to dramas. Basically its because I don't have someone like those male leads in my life, so these romantic korean drama seems like a wonderful dream that I want to be in. He said I put myself in the shoes of those female leads and experience all the emotions the roles experienced, be it happy or sad. HOW MEAN. He said it in my face sobs. But I wasn't angry at all when he said that, instead I thought for awhile and told him: Yea! I think you are right eh!! HAHAHA.

도깨비

I just finished watching the final episode of this drama, live streaming w/o subtitles hahaha! Surprisingly I can understand maybe 10-20% of it? LOL years of experience watching kdrama and Korean 1 came to good use. 

It was a roller coster ride since episode 1 so while waiting for the subtitles to be out, I need to express my feelings somewhere tonight hahaha I guess writing them down here is the only way. I need to write my feelings down so that I can enjoy the sub-ed episodes later cus it is too painful to watch it with so many thoughts and feelings in my brain. Yea, I think by this point many people will be laughing at me for being so silly, for feeling so emotional over just a drama. HAHA! Even me laugh at myself too! But I can't help it lehh I often get emotionally attached to the dramas I watched :( I know there are just dramas and most of the storylines won't even happen in real life.. But I still can't help but put myself into the shoes of those characters and then yea.. I think I am a really sensitive and emotional person. I have a very low 'crying-point' too! Haha!

SO! LETS BEGIN! 

It is a really really really amazing drama. Why? I think you can google some reviews on it hahaha! Romance, fantasy, tragedy, horror, comedy, belief, fate. These are the words that popped out in my head when I was thinking how to describe the drama just now. All these elements in ONE drama, you can imagine how intense it was hahaha! There are many fantasy kdramas out there but none hits me so strongly like dokkebi. (Maybe its just because GY and LDW are my type HAHAHA SHHHH) But honestly I love the story ALOT too! I love how the writer dropped questions along the way and how the whole story unfold beautifully when it reached the climax. So.. the writer kinda finished telling the main story at episode 13. Where KS's sword was pulled out and he used it to kill the evil spirit, completed the mission that he can't complete previously and protected the ones he loves, his bride and his sister. And he returned to ashes. I once said that I don't mind if the drama just ends here. Although its like a bad and sad ending but it feels complete. Everything falls back to their own places. 

But after ep 13 there are 3 more episodes left. I anticipated a lot and curious what else could they show since the whole story have been told already.. I thought it will just be some typical cheesy scenes, leading to a typical kdrama finale. BUT NO! It was more and more plot twists! KS died then everybody lost their memories, then ET grew up then KS came back then ET got back her memories then they get married then ET died then KS waited for 30 yrs then ET reincarnated and come back. So many things happened within such a short time frame. My heart really cannot take it already hahaha! The last 3 episodes became less enjoyable for me because I am constantly anticipating a plot twist. Even when they showed a really sweet and happy scene, I can't seem to enjoy too cause I knew something bad will happen after that. SO throughout that 3 episodes, it was happy scenes then sad scenes then happy then sad then happy then sad then happy then sad then happy then sad then happy then sad. Then happy. Then sad again. You know how tired it is now?! HAHA!

I almost flip my table just now when the drama ended hahaha cus I feel so confused over the ending! T.T Usually you will feel satisfied after finished watching a drama right but I feel like I was left hanging at the ending there, wanting more and trying to figure out what was the ending supposed to mean! *CRIES* SO YOU HAVE THIS COUPLE A AND B. A DIED. BUT LATER COME BACK ALIVE. THEN NOW B DIED. What is the point right!!! Might as well just end the drama in 13 episodes instead of 16? Why torture the characters and stab the audiences twice -.- But after reading some comments on how other people think of the ending, I actually feel better now. Kinda understand what the writer trying to tell. 

So if it ends at episode 13, it would be a bad ending cus neither the lead or second lead couples get together. The ending now is that the second lead couples reincarnated, became 'proper' human, met in their next life, fall in love and happily ever after. Definitely a happy ending for them, like most human being, found the love of their life and grow old together. They have such tragic past lives and I couldn't be happier to see that they can finally love each other properly now, even just for 1 life (in the drama it is believed that each person has 4 lives), its enough. And the ending for the lead couples now is that ET reincarnated, found KS in her next life. "I found you. Do you rmb who I am?" "My first and last bride." THEN THE DRAMA JUST ENDED HERE!! T.T So poor KS waited 30 years for her bride to reincarnate and find him... I supposed they will get together this life? and then when the mortal ET dies again this life, the immortal KS have to wait another 30 years or 100 years or 200 years for her to reincarnate and find him again?! Good thing is that they can still do this for another 3 lives? cus ET still has 3 more lives. and provided that ET manage to find him in every life?? Now the sad thing is that KS is all alone in this world (again) seeing everyone he loves die one by one (again), over and over and over again!! And there is nothing he can do while waiting for his bride to return other than just wait. He won't know how long it will takes, he can only wait.. All alone. T.T Then after 3 lives? Not like he can commit suicide thou? He is immortal.. Maybe he will find a new bride hahahah. Okay. I am thinking too much here. Well, I shouldn't be so greedy right! Even if they can only be together for 1 life, its enough already! Cus most human also only get to live once (I SUPPOSED HAHA). They got another 3 lives somemore lehh. I am saying this because I want to make myself feel better. Hais.. Now the drama title make sense, the lonely god. REALLY LONELY SIA OMG. POOR DOKKEBI :( 

I know its only a drama, a fantasy drama but do you think that kind of true love exist in real life? That kind of true love whereby you are willing to meet them again in your next life (if have) and fall in love with them again? Although I haven't met one, I want to believe they do exist. 

ANW! Although the drama makes me feel so miserable and emotional, I still love it! T.T It was one of the best kdrama I've watched! TOP 3!! Okay, the subtitles is out. I am feeling much better now I think I can handle this. HAHAHA! Last word, THANK YOU DOKKEBI! For brighten up my Dec and Jan and my super dreadful fyp life.. :') 💕💕

 

 

Friday the 13th

I never believed in Friday the 13th because nothing bad had happened to me before on this particular day BUT today. Its really a black Friday.

MY CELLS DIED!! T.T I cultured them for almost a month already and waiting for them to grow better for my experiments!! Now what. I am running out of time and they choose to end their lives now?! WHYYYYY *CRY A RIVER* All my time and effort spent taking care of them, even during Christmas and New Year, is gone. Its all gone.. And did I mentioned that I would need at least 2 weeks to re-culture them?! OH MY. SOMEONE PLEASE HOLD ME.